Stephanie Thrower, PhD
Mental Health at the Intersection of Motherhood + Career
Virtual Therapy in Massachusetts
Mothers are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and burned out from competing responsibilities. Maybe it’s being sold perfectionism around every corner, like on our screens or in our conversations that leads us to an olympic level of “should” culture.
If we’re tired, we think “I should have gone to bed when I put the kids down.” If our marriage feels difficult, “well, I should be more patient” or “I should communicate more clearly.” If our parenting responsibilities are ignored or judged at work, we think “I should work harder…and stay up late to catch up on that work when I was picking my kids up.” Oh my gosh, we’re right back at the top of the should list!
Mothers are struggling with setting boundaries, feeling isolated, and wondering where the version of them before becoming a mom went. and a lack of support systems. Overall, we struggle with a key factor in protecting our mental health: self-compassion.
What hasn't helped
We have been socialized to cope in ways that sometimes make our suffering worse, but you’re not alone. That’s kinda an overall human problem.
Women may try to cope with burnout, overwhelm, overstimulation, depletion, anxiety, depression, negative body image and trauma symptoms by ignoring their own needs and emotions and maybe even focusing on other’s needs instead. Women may exhibit over-functioning and perfectionism or self-medicate with alcohol, substances, shopping, or social media to numb the pain. Some cope by venting excessively without solutions or all-or-nothing thinking. Others fall into critical self-talk and comparison.
Working moms are struggling with overwhelm & difficulty getting the help they need.
Working mothers need support right now due to the pileup of stress on a global level. I have worked with mothers through the pandemic (and also had young children), and I am convinced we are all recovering, processing, and healing. Some of the difficult experiences will forever be sewn into the fabric of who we are as mothers.
There is increased financial uncertainty and blurred work-life boundaries with remote work leading to greater household and childcare responsibilities. There are incredible changes afoot in our society, but that means we often don’t have a clear playbook for how to cope and skillfully ask for what we need (or even know what we need). As a result, there are higher rates of anxiety, depression and burnout.
My Approach
I provide judgment-free support to help mothers process complex emotions like grief, loss, guilt, shame and fear that may surface in relation to parenting or career. We explore the roots of mental health symptoms like anxiety, depression and trauma to heal.
My goal is to validate your challenges, advocate to get your needs met, and collaborate on customized coping strategies and boundaries aligned with your values. I equip mothers with self-care tools, compassion practices, support to optimize cognitive functioning and goal-setting, communication frameworks and other evidence-based techniques tailored to your situation.
I also have some training working with kids in schools and in assessment. I often work with women to problem-solve and explore behavioral, emotional, and medical issues that arise for their children.
What to Expect
You can expect compassionate listening and normalization, exploration of identity, roles, transitions and expectations, processing of grief, loss, shame, resentment, and psychoeducation on mental health conditions and symptoms. Topics I commonly talk about with clients are: coping with parental loss or emotionally unavailable parents, improving communication and intimacy with partners, coping with trauma symptoms, navigating ADHD, boundary setting, and of course career development. We will brainstorm realistic solutions and boundaries, recommendations for self-care and community support, and ongoing refinement of coping strategies and tools. Most importantly, I'm here to support you to become the mom you want to be not who you think you should be.