Guide to Managing Anxiety as a New Mom Planning to Return to Work

Returning to work after having a baby stirs up a mix of emotions, even in women who have always loved their careers. One moment you might feel eager to get back to the adult world of deadlines and focus, and the next, you're wondering how you're going to hand the baby off without falling apart. That kind of confusion is more common than people realize. Anxiety about returning to work postpartum doesn’t always look like panic. Sometimes it shows up as low-grade dread, racing thoughts at 3 a.m., or exhaustion that even a full night's sleep can’t fix.

Late February in Massachusetts doesn't always help. Gray skies and freezing temperatures can wear on your energy and mood, especially if you're already short on both. Post-baby life gently slows your pace in ways that work life doesn’t always allow for. This stretch between patterns can feel uneven. We see this often, and we know there’s no quick fix. Dr. Stephanie Thrower is a licensed psychologist who offers virtual perinatal therapy for working moms across Massachusetts, so support can fit into real schedules and seasons. But we do believe there is space to slow down, rethink old pressures, and start rewriting what “ready” actually means.

Why the Juggle Feels So Hard Right Now

There’s a reason that going back to work after maternity leave doesn’t just feel like flipping a switch. Even if your calendar says you’ve had time to heal, your body and brain might not agree. Your hormones are still working themselves out. Your sleep is broken into chunks. Your days are full of mental load work that doesn’t clock out at 5 p.m.

Many high-achieving women have built years of identity around being focused, efficient, and dependable. Add parenting into the mix, and the confidence that once felt automatic can become a little shakier.

Here are a few things that make this juggle harder than it looks:

• Switching between mom-mode and work-mode requires mental flexibility that doesn’t come instantly

• There’s rarely enough time for a full pause or reset between life stages

• The newborn phase hands you a new identity without asking if you’re ready for it

You might know your job inside-out, but if feeding schedules and nap stress are taking up most of your brain, your usual sharpness might feel out of reach. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost it. It means your mind is busy with something else that matters too.

Signs Your Anxiety About Work Isn’t Just Normal Nerves

Feeling nervous about your first day back is expected. But there’s a difference between understandable butterflies and anxiety that lingers long after the baby bag is packed. If you find yourself dreading work even after you've figured out childcare arrangements, it may be something more.

Here are some signs the anxiety is sticking around for more than just a few days:

• Trouble focusing during the day, even on things you used to enjoy

• Feeling irritable or emotionally numb in situations that usually feel manageable

• Constant self-doubt, even when you’re doing all the right things

• Sleep disrupted by thoughts about work, not just baby cries

Anxiety about returning to work postpartum doesn’t always make itself obvious. Not everyone will understand it if you try to explain. When you name it for what it is, you’re one step closer to figuring out what kind of support you actually need. Working with a therapist who is trained in perinatal mental health and anxiety treatment can help you sort out which fears are about work, which are about motherhood, and which are about a shifting sense of self.

Redefining What “Ready” to Return Looks Like

Almost no one feels totally ready to go back to work after having a baby. That checklist in your head, if it’s full of perfection, guilt, and unrealistic timing, can do more harm than good. What if “ready” looked less like confidence and more like pacing?

Here are a few ways to start reframing what return-to-work success can look like:

• Consider a gradual return if your employer allows it, even a single lighter week can help

• Shift your definition of productivity from “everything done perfectly” to “enough done realistically”

• Have a conversation with someone at work before your first day back, just to help reset expectations

If your last performance review was glowing, it might not feel right to push for flexibility. Asking for what you need doesn’t make you less capable. If anything, it shows a deeper kind of long-term thinking, the kind that leads to staying well, not just hanging on.

Winter Blues, Mom Guilt, and Pressure to “Bounce Back”

Winter doesn’t always wait to be invited. In places like Massachusetts, February can feel heavy, cold mornings, icy sidewalks, and long stretches without sunlight. Add postpartum life to that setting and it’s easy to see why moods drop. Being stuck indoors more often can reduce chances to reset or connect with others.

At the same time, there’s this cultural idea of “bouncing back” that lives quietly in so many of our minds. You start to wonder if you should be more grateful, more focused, more present. That guilt loops itself into every decision.

Let’s say this clearly: You can feel lucky to have your job and still struggle when it’s time to log back in. You can love your baby and still want time to finish a thought without being interrupted. Both can be true at once.

Here’s what helps sometimes during the harder weeks:

• Naming the guilt without letting it steer every decision

• Knowing that emotional recovery can take longer than physical healing

• Expecting your bandwidth to be lower for a while and letting that be okay

Feeling off doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It probably means you’re doing a lot at once, in winter, while still readjusting to who you are now.

A New Chapter Doesn’t Have to Have All the Answers

The early months of this next phase can feel uneven. It’s the transition between roles, routines, and expectations. Maybe you’re watching your old self fade a little and a new version step forward, less polished in places, but full of perspective you never had before.

Anxiety shows up when we feel stuck between wanting to make the right call and being afraid of getting it wrong. Not every decision needs to be locked in right now. Some paths unfold more slowly. Some return plans need edits.

Over time, we’ve seen women realize that they didn’t lose the parts of themselves that mattered at work. They just changed how those parts show up. It’s okay if your return-to-work story doesn’t look like anyone else’s. It’s yours, and it’s allowed to be mixed, in-progress, and still incredibly strong. In this practice, therapy for working parents is offered online throughout Massachusetts, which means you can bring these questions into a private space without adding another commute or appointment across town.

At Thrower Consulting & Therapy, we understand how overwhelming it can feel when you're stuck between feeding schedules and project deadlines, especially during the colder stretch of winter in Massachusetts. If you're noticing that your energy is dipping or that the pressure to “have it all together” is starting to wear on you, you’re not alone. Many women experience anxiety about returning to work postpartum in ways that aren’t always visible but still very real. Support doesn’t have to wait until things get harder. If any part of this sounds familiar, reach out to us.